My social life has definitely picked up recently because I went out for the second time in less than four weeks, before that I had not had a night out for eighteen months.  The down side is that I had a drink…….I think you can guess the rest……I had a cigarette or ten.  The very next day I was back to being a smoker.  Back to square one on the smoking front, but I had a cracking night out.  I am not sure what to do, either go to the doctor for patches or have another session of hypnosis.

I’m going to put an advert in the local shop to borrow a dog.  I have been walking a lot and it seems a good idea to have a canine companion.  My gardening seems to be paying off, the bum may not be much different but I have a waist again, I am very pleased at that it is now 31 inches as opposed to 37 in January so I know that I must be doing right.  Having lost weight on my waist also takes me out of the danger zone of type two diabetes.  Abby, my diet and fitness friend says that if you are a woman with a waist line of over 31.5 inches or 37 inches if you are a man it is an indication that you could be at risk of developing type two diabetes sometime in your life.  Eight out of ten adults diagnosed with type two diabetes are overweight and waist size is a very reliable indication of susceptibility to it.   Ok so maybe I should have been obsessing about my waist rather than my bum but Betty Big Waist doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

When it comes to food I love gravy, I put it on anything I can I’d even put it on salad if I could (only joking!).  The problem is gravy, especially gravy mix is packed with fat and salt so here is a way of reducing the fat and salt;

When you put a roast in the oven add carrots, onions and water.
When the roast is cooked take the carrots, onions and juices, skim any fat and blend.
Once blended reheat in a pan add more water and just a little gravy mix and cook out.
Sounds simple, is simple but the gravy you get tastes ‘out of this world’ and has far less fat than the using just grave mix alone.

Are you dieting or have you successfully permanently changed your life style for the better? Do you have a story of what happened when you refused to change? Do you have hints and tips? If so please contact me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com
With your permission (all names and details changed to protect the guilty!) I could include them in this column.

This week it has been back to the drawing board on the home front. Not only have I not shifted any more weight for weeks, I have actually put on a few pounds! Then to add insult to injury my dad gave me a bottle of moisturiser. I laughingly accepted it and said 'Thanks Dad, have I gone a bit leathery?' His reply was 'Yes.' Then he proceeded to give me beauty tips, talk about embarrassed and humiliated, I wasn't that embarrassed when my parents gave me the birds and bees talk when I was ten. The horrible thing is that my dad is right, lately the crow’s feet have started to appear with a vengeance and my skin has gone very dry. Following my dad's advice I have stared to moisturise in the afternoon and evenings in addition to my morning routine. The sun ages the skin so I now put sun block on and wear a hat whenever possible, when I go outside.
My diet and fitness guru friend, Abby has also given me a little talk. I really do have to start exercising more if I am to firm up my big behind. I need to stop with weighing myself and get the tape measure out. Exercise firms up your body and helps you to loose inches, rather than pounds it also strengthens the heart and bones. The trouble is I don't like all those exercise machines besides which you have to pay to use them! I do like being active as long as I am accomplishing something so I have started to do the garden with a vengeance. Last week with my Dad's beauty advice in mind I slopped on the sun block, slapped on a hat, got out my shorts (ugh! in those orange shorts my bottom looked like the rising sun) and got out the spade. I have spent four days solid lifting, carrying, mowing and digging. I enjoyed every minute of it and next week I am going to dig out and lay the patio.
I sent my friend Julie a big bottom photo which she gleefully put up in her sister's hairdressers......Julie you are supposed to be attracting customers, not scaring them away!
Are you dieting or have you successfully permanently changed your life style for the better? Do you have a story of what happened when you refused to change? Do you have hints and tips? If so please contact me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com
With your permission (all names and details changed to protect the guilty!) I could include them in this column.
See you all next week for an update on my bum and thigh training.
Betty X

This morning I painfully awoke to find a garden full of household goods.  For a second I just couldn’t think how they got there until full horrified realisation hit me.  The fact is that I went out for a drink for the first time in nearly eighteen months.  Since I have become a mother my social life has gradually shrunk until I have no one to go out with even if I do get a Saturday night off.  My oldest friends are now scattered across the North West and being single and tied to the home makes finding new friends difficult.  I am not unusual in this respect; the same thing often happens even if you are in a relationship or married.  Anyway Saturday night out was courtesy of my new friend Jo who is one of many new friends I have made through this column.

So just picture the scene not been out for ages, went to the pub and met lots of new people.  I remember chatting to complete strangers and telling the most stupid jokes.  What made this possible was the delicious sambucca chasers coupled with bottles of low alcohol lager (thank goodness it was low alcohol); I dread to think what I would have been like this morning if I had drank wine.  About eleven pm we decided to go and on the way home I saw a skip filled with foam packing, it looked inviting.  I remember watching a programme on telly about skip diving, which on reflection I think means scavenging from skips…..not diving in.  So in I went and banged my leg on something hard.  After scrabbling about in this giant tom bola I came up with a small coffee table, it had light wood and finished with iron work.  I needed a coffee table or so I thought, next came a wine rack, terracotta pots and a wooden patio set.  After all this was removed it meant that we could dive in again without injury.  A group of passing drinkers stopped to watch and have a go and after having had our fill of literal skip diving I was about to put everything back until one of the drinkers asked where I lived.  That’s how my garden came to be filled, these young men and women carried the booty home for me……Thank you my unknown benefactors.  The only thing missing from my adventure was a traffic cone but then again I wasn’t staggeringly drunk just as merry as a may fly.

The best cure for a sluggish brain and an almost hangover is a full English breakfast.  This morning I had a poached egg, grilled bacon, microwave mushrooms, tinned tomatoes and wholemeal bread.  In the past everything would have been fried, this morning it was automatic to poach and so on.  It really was a healthy breakfast so now you know……….. it is possible to have a healthy, full (nearly) English breakfast.

I have taken a shine to salmon, especially as Angel Monster loves it;

Boil new potatoes and when nearly done;
Steam salmon and green beans
Dry fry bacon pieces (99p from most super markets)

Serve the salmon on a bed of green beans mixed with bacon and arrange the spuds around the plate.
This is the easiest recipe I have done recently and it’s quick, healthy, and cheap and looks like something a chef would prepare.  Even better it means that I just use my steamer and a frying pan and so less washing up.

Are you dieting or have you successfully permanently changed your life style for the better?  Do you have a story of what happened when you refused to change?  Do you have hints and tips?  If so please contact me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com
 With  your permission (all names and details changed to protect the guilty!) I could include them in this column.

See you all next week love Betty xxx

This week I’m worried that every time anyone mentions the word banana that I will start barking like a dog or try to sniff someone’s bum (just joking!).  The reason is because I was finally hypnotised.  I am now a non smoker!


 I know that is a bold statement but it feels true (until I smoke another cig).  I was hypnotised last Friday so when you read this I will have been cig free for four days.  On Saturday night a friend came round with a few beers and her cigs……..Ok I had to try one out, after all I’ve  been a smoker for twenty years.  I was scared that when I finally succumbed to the temptation of the ciggy monster that that would be it………cig after cig again and again, trapped by the nicotine monkey.  I am not sure what post hypnotics Peter Hanney gave me but I had three puffs and started retching over the toilet, it was great!  I have realised that I can say no, no, no and no again
I have not been eating as healthily as I should have this last week.  I have been using this stop smoking as an excuse; it really is just an excuse.  The old argument that you put on weight when you give up cigs is just that a fallacy.  I don’t really want that chocolate or cream cake but my head is saying ‘go on, indulge yourself, you deserve it because you can’t have a cig.’  The fact is that I don’t really want a cig at all I just think I do it’s just a habit.  The really exciting thing is I can say no!  It sounds stupid but saying no is so satisfying and gives me a real buzz.  At the hypnosis training course I met a really interestingly mixed group of people.  There were health professionals, complimentary medicine professionals and general members of the public.  Now you know how tighter than tight I am, so you won’t be surprised at the fact that I managed to get hypnotised for nail biting and weight control although I must admit I have the weight thing already pinned down.

So what’s the next step on my self transformation?  Ooo big car?  Fancy holidays?  Big bank balance?  If only!   So far I’ve

Lost weight
Given up smoking
Reduced my alcohol intake
Started to exercise (need to do more)

Soon I will be forty years old……still single, hmmm, plenty of scope for mischief, haha…..hold that thought!

Anyway bout stop smoking help…..
Ashton, Leigh and Wigan PCT (NHS) stop smoking: 0800 073 063 8 Or drop  a line at:

 Smoking Cessation Team Bryan House 61 Standishgate Wigan WN1 1AH The service is free and available to anybody.

For details of my hypnosis please email me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com

I am scared and excited at the same time because when you read this column next week, I will be a non smoker.  I imagine waking up and not reaching for a cig in the morning and going through the whole day without that urge to have one.  I imagine the bliss and utter freedom that comes from having that monkey removed from around my back.  Ok so I sound a bit sombre this week but stopping smoking before I have to, when the damage is done, is the single biggest thing I can do for my future health and for my son.  There, said it! I get the pleasure of a cig but I also get the guilt that goes with it.  Like all smokers I know the risks and, as you get older those risks increase.  Dieting has been surprisingly easy because I have only made small changes which have added up and slotted into my daily life seamlessly but, giving up smoking will be a huge change and I am excited and apprehensive at the same time.

I’ve got this image in my head that I am Russel Crowe in Gladiator getting ready to fight, I put on my gauntlets, buckle my sword and fix my helmet.  Hmm I look quite good there in a leather kilt after loosing all that weight but, my legs are shaven, not hairy like Russel’s.  Out into the arena I go and slay the ciggy monster stone dead with no effort at all, as an added bonus my bum looks really good in that leather kilt.  Ooo an outfit like that would have possibilities if I wasn’t single!  Ok! It’s a family news paper so I will change the subject.

This last week I have rediscovered the pleasure of home made minestrone soup.  You can get fruit and vegetables at very low prices and when you’re tight like me a bargain cannot be passed by.  I have made my own version of this soup which Angel Monster cannot get enough of he says it’s nearly as good as my stews and spaghetti bolognaise (both chocca block full of vegetables).  It tastes even better when eaten with home made garlic bread……What! Garlic bread!…….In a diet!  Yes I am not going without at all.  Here’s how to do it.

Chop your vegetables very finely (Angel Monster will not eat big pieces of veggies).
Vegetables can be whatever you have in or what your budget will stretch to; Carrots, onions, leeks, courgettes, green beans and so on.
Throw in your pot all the harder veggies such as onions, leeks and carrots and leave to simmer.  Softer ones such as courgettes and green beans, leave until the others are nearly cooked so they do not  turn to mush.
Add garlic and a bay leaf
Dry fry trimmed and chopped bacon pieces (you can leave out if you are a vegetarian).
Once the hard vegetables are nearly cooked add everything else to the pot.
Add a tin of  chopped tomatoes (those with herbs already in taste even nicer)
Add a hand full of broken spaghetti, as it cooks it thickens the soup (brown is better because it has a low GI)
Adjust the minestrone to taste and there you have it!  It tastes even nicer after a day sat in the fridge.
Eat one, two or three bowls full, basically as much as you want…….DO NOT GO AWAY FROM THE TABLE HUNGRY!
The aim of the recipe is to use whatever you have in, it is simple and can be changed to suit yourself.

Home Made Garlic Bread

Buy multigrain baguettes and slice.
Fill with garlic and low fat spread mixed
Heat in the oven to get crispy, or if you’re not bothered the microwave.

There you have it, the important part is to use a brown or multigrain baguette as it has a low GI so you will not feel hungry an hour later.
This meal worked out cheaper than buying tins because I had lots and lots left over.  I put it into tubs and froze it.  More home made ready meals!

See you again next week. If you have any advice or encouragement contact me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com

Famous at last!  I met up with a very funny lady called Jo, a nurse from the Infirmary who emailed wanting to meet.  She and her colleagues are Betty Big Bum fans and they wanted a photograph of my bum. I was really flattered until she told me they wanted it to remind them of what would happen if they don’t keep up their diets.  Ok maybe not fame, more like Infamy.  On a more serious note Jo has been told by her doctor to give up smoking.  Jo has asked me to announce to the entire world that we will give up at the same time.  Less seriously I laughed so much at that meeting I wished I’d worn a Tenna Lady.

Angel Monster and I are fully recovered from the tummy bug (thank goodness) and the diet is progressing.  Last week I lost another pound and am eating more than ever having lots of fresh (and frozen) veggies.  I am a bit disappointed about only loosing one pound but Abbey said that is to be expected as I am almost within half a stone of my target weight of ten and a half stone.  She called it a plateau, which often happens to dieters, but can be overcome.  I have grown really fond of Quorn be it minced, diced or chicken flavoured and you can do with it what you do with meat and there’s no fat in it.  I like the chicken flavoured one best, I cook it with onions, tinned tomatoes, garlic and herbs.  I serve it on a bed of mixed rice and vegetables.  Poor Angel Monster has been ploughing through my concoctions with a patient resignation; I give him ten out of ten for effort.

Cheerleading was great again this week but there is a very big cloud on the horizon…….I will have to wear a mini skirt when I wave those pompoms.  Yuck! Those legs are cellulite city.

Are you dieting or have you successfully permanently changed your life style for the better?  Do you have a story of what happened when you refused to change?  Do you have hints and tips?  If so please contact me at bettybigbum@googlemail.com
 With your permission (all names and details changed to protect the guilty!) I could include them in this column.

See you all next week for an update on my bum and thigh training.

Betty X

Thank you for your kind comment!

Betty Big Bum Column 4

Now that we’re in the grip of winter I’ve been scratching my head thinking of things for me and Angel/Monster to do, whilst cooped up.  Last week we were playing tennis in our all too small lounge with rolled up newspapers and a balloon.  Things got a little competitive but we had fun and it helped to keep him away from the telly and his games machine.  There we were talking ten to the dozen and laughing at our antics.   I love to hear his laugh it’s quite addictive and I wonder how much of that love and laughter he will remember when he grows up.  Any way after snuggling up in bed and telling him a story we talked about what the day had brought.   I kissed him, told him I loved him then I came down stairs, turned on the telly and started to cry.

The news was showing funerals of the family who had been killed on the M6.  I started crying not just for them but for the parents and grandparents left behind, just imagine burying not just your son or daughter but to bury your grandchildren as well doesn’t bear thinking about.  Their deaths were so senseless we can only dimly know their grief and pray to god that we never fully experience it ourselves.  Which brings me to today, the eleventh of the eleventh where we stop for two minutes to remember those brave young men and women who have died in the past defending our country and way of life from invasion, in wars which were much more clear cut than those more recent ones.  Today the wars don’t always seem so clear but remember those youngsters fighting abroad whether we as individuals believe that war is to do with freedom or securing control of diminishing oil reserves.  Remember their wives, children and parents and pray for the safety of those youngsters, they have their whole lives ahead, with choices and opportunities open to them because of their youth, pray that it’s not cut short.

Remember those parents of troops who have memories of their own Angel/Monsters, their own daft games and treasured moments, offer a prayer for them all and thank god you’re not in their shoes, worrying and praying that you are not the one to get the next dreaded phone call.

Lest we forget.

Betty x

Bettybigbum@googlemail.com