Labour is opening up a new front in its obsession with equal rights. It wants to stamp out prejudice against... Northerners.
The extraordinary plans are being dreamed up by Harriet Harman, the Government’s equalities supremo and Gordon Brown’s deputy.
The Mail on Sunday has learned that she wants to introduce rules to halt discrimination against people from ‘up North’ and other regions, and has instructed her Equalities Office to look at ‘diversity proposals’ to stop Londoners and other Southerners lording it over the rest of the country.

I thought it was the Jocks who were lording it over us??

So there is a bit of an uproar because a holiday firm is advertising "Chav Free Holidays." Should they be allowed to advertise these?....YES of course they should and I would book one. There is nothing worse than sitting at the side of a pool having a nice relaxing read at a hotel which has cost more than the country it is in than to have a family all dressed in shell suits turning up and turning the pool into a mini sunami. They cannot talk quietly, drink lager all day and leave the grease from their burgers at the side of the pool therefore causing tripping hazard. This is not a slur on the working class, I was brought up in a council house and am proud of my roots. It is a slur on chavs who in my opinion can come from any class in society. A chav is someone who has the following characteristics; they have tatoos (the posher ones have one that have the correct spelling), they wear heaps of gold so much so it weighs them down in the pool, they have sunglasses with hinges so large they look like the front door of the Taj Mahal, their kids, of which there are numerous are totally uncontrollable and take great pleasure in flouting all rules and jump off the highest thing they can into the pool and finally they were speedos so tight which look like they have a parrots head down the front. And that is just the women! Apparently, the Chav Free holidays are going off the shelves like hot cakes and I can understand why.

I tell you what really bugs me are these celebrities on TV who are trying to get us to give to charity. "Please donate what you can!" No, why dont you donate what you can instead, maybe give just one of your many millions and there would not be any need for charity advertisements like the ones you are getting paid to produce. The worst one of all is Children in Need. All celebrities trying to get their fizogs on the telly with the pretence of they actually care. If each one of them gave maybe a third of their annual salary they would probably treble what is donated. The worst of all is Terry Wogan who actually gets paid £9,000 for one Children in Need show. Not bad work if you can get it Terry. I also dislike advertisments for Great Ormond Street Hospital and Clean Water for Africa which simply try and make people feel guilty. I give a fair bit to charity but it is charity of my choice and I wont tbe influenced by shallow celebrities who are out for their own gain and do not care who they trample on to reach their goal. They are all shallow. Oh, and whilst I am on a rant....June Whitfield and Michael Parkinson trying to flog you funerals.."And you are guaranteed to be accepted and you will get a free Parker Pen." Yeah, I bet they are worried that there wont be enough money to bury them when they die, I bet they are signed up. When I die they can do what they want. Leave me outside and let birds pick at me if you want. I wont be here and neither will any of my hard earned cash. Rant over!

There was talk of putting Michael Jacksons body on public display. What is the point of that apart from giving some macabre viewers a look at what is simply a shell of a human. I am a Catholic but always felt it was a really bizarre when the dead persons coffin is left open prior to burial. If you believe in God, the spirit of the person has left and so again you are looking at a shell. I viewed my Grandparents bodies and felt the same. There is something not quite right with displaying a body. Maybe I have become accustomed to death through my job as I have seen many dead bodies over the years and I dont wish to sound insensitive but I believe that once a person has died the thing you see in the coffin is not the person. It is a shell where the most important thing resided, the spirit. The spirit has left, and the spirit is the person. It is worse when many of the public are allowed to view the body on public display. What next? T-shirts with 'I viewed Michael Jacksons corpse' on??

They say things come in threes! In the last couple of days my phone has broke. Never mind I thought, its still under guarantee and I will get a new one. Nope, my guarantee ran out by six weeks. Then, on Wednesday I was driving back from London and a woman ran into the back of my car, causing extensive damage and writing her own car off! I am frightened of going for a pee in case it falls off! Lucky bugger aint I!!

So Michael Jackson has died. I never really liked his music but what really annoys me is all the celebrities who suddenly come out of the woodwork to say how great he was. These are the same people who distanced themselves or infact made negative comments when he was being accused of child abuse. It was the same with Jade Goody. The majority of celebrities who were suddenly openly mourning her death were the same ones who were calling her all kinds of names when she was accused of racial abuse. The answer is; If you dont like someone when they are alive, please do not start pretending you liked them when they are dead. It is the same in families. I have one relative who I term a professional mourner. Great with the waterworks at funerals but spends most of her life name calling the living, whom she later skrikes for at their funeral. Bugs me!!!

Apparently in the Galleries you are not allowed to wear hoods, or should I say, you are not allowed to cover your head except for religious reasons. They say it is because of security. However, what if your religion is Jedi Knight? Apparently this is recognised now as a religion and so I guess you would have a case if they tried to stop you wearing a habit and carrying a light saber screaming out, "Use the force Luke!"

I am thinking of doing a night study course. I have always been interested in history but have never done any major study in it. I have always done courses in science, particularly psychology. My main worry is that I will end up doing something I find totally boring once the course starts. When I was studying for my degree, I would read at the beginning of the year what was going to be in the curriculum but it never lived up to expectations. For instance, I did a behaviour course a few years back and part of the course involved the study of the behaviour of insects. Great, I thought, should be interesting. In reality we had to do a research project on an insect named the Holly Leaf Minor which only exists in, you guessed it, Holly Bushes. Each night I would be out searching for bloody holly bushes in Wigan, coming in each night with thorns in my head and leaves in my gob. Counting insects is BOOOORRRRIIIING! I do like reading and read at least a book a week but the important thing is I can read what I want rather than having to read a text book. I need to think more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres a thought. Someone mentioned the other day that they enjoyed watching Little House on the Prairie in the seventies. I remember around this time there were loads of programmes about family life such as Bless this House, George and Milred (remember Tristan!) and The Waltons. All funny feel good programmes which portrayed the family as a nice place to be. You dont get programmes like that anymore do you. Nothing which portrays family life as positive. Could this contribute to the breakdown in families and marriage going out of fashion? Just a thought cos I am bored on a Sunday afternoon. Good night...Goodnight ma...Goddnight pa...Goodnight John Boy!

Now here is a new scam.My dog died a few months ago and so I have been looking for a new one. Yesterday I went on a website looking for a Yorkshire Terrier in the area. I saw one advert which said, "Yorkshire Terrier Pup Free to a kind loving home." I e-mailed the address and put that I would be intersted in the dog and would make a donation of £200 to the RSPCA as the dog is free. I just got a reply. Whadya reckon;

"The reason why I am giving out this babies is because of the nature of my job..I work with an international organization which is responsible in taking care of the poor and the less privilege and i am currently in cassa morocco(cm)..Here the nature of my job does not gives me enough time to take care of Destiny and Miracle. I inquire from the airport here in morocco and they made me know that to ship a puppy will cost $120and both for $200 cos they can be ship in a single crate ok. Do have a nice day and get back to me at your Convenience..."

Not bad seeing the search I put on was for dogs in the North West area! Dont think I will be bothering with this one!